03/11/2023
Hello, it’s me,
Another month, another… well, it isn’t a singular dollar; it is more like 31 dollars, but that is beside the point. The point is that I am very much in a mundane routine, and I am not sure how I feel about it. I am not enjoying how quickly time is going this year.
So, here are two things you should never ask a PhD student:
- How is your research going?
- What are you going to do after you finish?
Like many of my fellow PhD people, I don’t like to talk about my research; there are only two people I can tolerate talking to about it, and they are in the same position as me. However, I will write a little about it today since you are getting to know me.
Doing a PhD is the most stressful thing I have ever done. It takes up so much time not just writing and researching the dam thing but also consumes time when I am not. A reason why people hate being asked, ‘How is your research going?’ is because they are of the fact we are currently not writing it but have so much work to do, and we should be doing that work instead of wherever we are at that given time. Obviously, this is unreasonable, but multiple years of relentless stress do things to the mind.
I am getting close to entering my final year of the thing. Whether or not I finish within a year is a different story, but that is technically when my funding dries up, so I really hope I finish it by then. The thing is, I am losing my drive and purpose for it. It feels like my PhD is cock blocking me from starting the rest of my life. After years of studying and getting to this point, the drive, the purpose, the will to get me here. The stress of the PhD has made me forget why I am doing the thing in the first place. I am not the only one who feels this way. Apparently, this is a natural phase that every PhD student endures.
Now, how am I dealing with this? Ignoring it and just slowly keep on working at it. Why? Because the alternative of quitting is far worse than enduring my current situation. At the end of the day, I am privileged that I even get to do this thing, but alas, it is still hard and consuming. Anyway, enough for now, talk to you all soon.
Love Me.